The Farang who is meeting mostly women from the Isaan in the bars should be aware, that they selected these job because money is literally falling in their - for this purpose - wide opened lap. If the Farang now decides to establish a permanent relationship, or even to marry with such a girl, then he must first be clear in his mind, under what circumstances the girl grew up and was educated. The hut, in which she grew up, had only a clay floor, where small waste was dropped, and then cleaned up once a day. Lacking furniture made it unnecessary to wipe or dust, and for the wardrobe of the whole family, a single cabinet, or even just a few solid nails in the wall were sufficient. The windows needed no glass panes to protect against the weather, so any window cleaning was not necessary.

 

He must therefore understand, that besides the amenities having caught his eyes (and then falling in his bed), a long series of little adversities will make the daily living together some what difficult to a continuous mental obstacle course. This means not only the financial problems caused primarily by the desire to support her family in Isaan, but the many small things that will irritate the orderly Farang every day.

           

Let us begin with entering into the house. Before she steps over the threshold, being an orderly Thai she will remove her footwear, gracefully hurling her slippers around, without much concern for where they land. An ordinary shoe rack positioned by the Farang, will not get a look. The Farang trying to teach her the use of the shoe rack will find this word in no-Thai dictionary

           

House cleaning is done by following the basic Thai-rule: what I cannot see is not there! That applies not only for any problem, but also for any filth or dust in the house. No Thai will consider cleaning under the sofa or an armchair, but will carefully sweep around them. As Thais are generally smaller than Farang, they do not see the dirt and dust located on the cabinets, so there is no need to clean it.                    

If the husband gets the opinion, that the dust in the apartment has now reached a height, that is not only possible to write poems in it, but that with a bit of skill sculptures can be cut out, she will not take the vacuum cleaner purchased for a considerable amount of money, but a feather duster, and thus flush up the dust, so that it is must search a new place to settle down. As her field of vision is limited to eye level, the dust will easily find a new resting place on the cabinet where it will certainly never be disturbed. It must, however, share its place up there with a whole range of goods that where sometime laying around, and were transported on the next cabinet.

 

As an orderly Thai, she will put on a fresh shirt every day, and the Farang who thinks that the shirt he used yesterday is still so clean, that it can serve another day, would be taken for a dirty vagabond. But when she opens the cupboard to remove clean clothes, she must be very careful so that not the entire content will fall out, because all pieces not hanging on a clothes hanger have been crammed in, until the capacity of the cabinet volume has exceeded by 150%.

           

Initially he will be astonished, to be introduced everyday to new faces as being older or younger brother or After meeting the tenth brother or sister, he gets a growing esteem for the performance of his father-in-law, but when finally presented to the one hundredth sister, he will try to get to the bottom of the riddle. He will then discover, that not only everybody having the same parents as his wife, but that friends and girlfriends are also called brother and sister, and consequently are behaving in his house like close family members.

 

One day his wife will surprise him with the joyful message, that during his absence, she has been talked into an extremely favorable life insurance policy. He now has two options: either to rant that she has thrown that money out of the window, as in case that the woman, who is only half his age, will die after him, the hunchback kinship will get the money. Or he praises her, because in the event of her early demise, he can buy a new younger woman with the money. But In the latter case, he must be afraid, that she will come after him with the kitchen knife.

 

If he really succeeds to make clear to his wife, that the refrigerator should not only be cleaned outside, but also from inside, it will not be easy to convince her, that from time to time the fridge must be de-iced. Every child knows that ice keeps the contents cool, and it will do that so much better, if the freezing compartment is completely frozen. So it remains only one option, to renounce in the future to the use of freezing compartment, or to hope that with the next 24-hour blackout the problem solves itself.

 

If he has taught her to wish him "Good morning" when he wakes up, and "Good Night" before falling asleep, this will probably be the only true words he gets to hear from her throughout the day. To every question she will simply answer with anything what is in her mind, or what she thinks he wants to hear. It does not matter whether what she says is true or not.

 

All this is obviously not true for your wife. Even if   every day a few small irregularities will get on your nerves, you have got of course the best of all wives. She will cuddle up at night with you, in the morning when you get up she will beam with her almond eyes, will cook your favorite food, ensures that you don’t run around like a roamer, and can be terribly nice to you, especially before going to the city for shopping .